may sakit si lola

Lola at the doctor's office -

Lola: Doc, ano pa ang gagawin para sa sakit ko?

Doc: che-chemo po kayo, lola.

Lola: A ganun ah! tit*mo ren!

hindi tao, hindi hayop...

Miss, alam mo ba, hindi tayo tao..




Hindi tayo hayop..




At hindi din tayo halaman..




BAGAY TAYO!
BAGAY! =)

The Pinoy "Thriller"

counterclockwise

Priest sees man doing station of the cross -

Priest: Sir, pabaligtad po ang station of the cross ninyo.

Man: kaya pala palakas ng palakas si Kristo...

what is love?

Love is not finding someone to go to bed with, but finding someone you want to wake up in the morning with...




naked... so parang ganun din. :)

a is for epol

Cno ang pinakatangang babae na isinilang sa sanlibutan?




sagot:




Si EBA...Bakit?




nakita nya hubad na katawan ni adan... APPLE BA NAMAN ANG ISINUBO!!!
Dba tanga?!

save closet space

Thought for life: We all love to spend lots of money buying new clothes but never realize that some of the best moments in life are enjoyed w/o clothes! :D

why teynkyu...

Tanong: Why did you join this contest?

SAGOT:
"ME? Join THIS contest? Why did I?...




Thank you..." (sabay ikot at walk away)

-formr bb. pilipinas candidate

couple's vacation

Man to priest counselor: My wife & I can't agree on our vacation. I want to go to Boracay.
Priest: where does she want to go?
Man: She wants to go w/ me...

hurt hart hurt hart

dnt
hurt
d hart
hu
didnt
hurt ur
hart
bt hurt
d hart
hu hurt
ur hart
bt hw
cn u hurt
d hart hu
hurt ur heart
if...




she sells
sheshells by
the seash0re.
=p

when life gets stormy...

When life gets stormy, remember to anchor deep... Say a prayer & hold on! Don't be surprised if someone comes across the waters to give you a hand...




Ako yon...
Nasa YACHT, u kno? Sosiness & evrytng. =)

mga pamatay na hirit

mga pamatay na hirit:

kumain k b ng asukal?

ang tamis kc ng ngiti mo.


may lahi k bang keybord?

type kc kita.


papupulis kta!

ninakaw mo kc pus0 ko.


r u a dix0nary?

coz u add mining 2 my lyf.


i lost my #...

can i hav urs?


i 4got ur name...

can i col u mine?


at ang pamatay na reply:

excuse me, kumain ka b ng mais?

ang CORNy mo kc! =p

what did you said?

Judge: If you had the chance to become the nation's president for one day, what is the first thing that you would do?

Beauty contestant: Thank you so much for your thought-provoking question. But first and foremost, I would like to say to you...




Come again?

(ay inday mag linis ka ng tenga!)

ano ang gagawin mo?

Pg nadulas at nadapa sa harap ng crush...gan2 dpt ang banat: "see how i fell 4 you?" =)

(haha! ulul!)

ang sweet pala ng alphabet

sana "T" na lang ako... para im always right next to "U"... =)

(how switz naman!)

and i quote...

"Ikaw n nga ang nkaapak, kw p 2ng glit!"

-tae


"Hndi lht ng green, msustansya."

-plema


"Hndi lht ng maacm, may vit.C"

-kili2


"Hay naku!Wag mo n kong bilugin!"

-kulangot


"Ayoko lng nman na sa harap ng mrming tao,gnun mo nlng ako kung ideny!"

-utot

wag mag paa!

Overheard sa may dibidihan...

Nanay at anak tumitingin ng mga dibidi -

Nanay: Magnda kya tong pelikulng "Sleepers" (staring bradpit at kevbacon)?

Anak: Sleeeepers? Ano yooon? Tsinelaaaas?

(tama anak! laging magtsnelas para wag madumhan ang paa!)

mabuting anak

Dear boyet,

Naipdala ko n ang 50 libo tuition mo,pnagbili na nmen ung klabaw ntin. Ang mhal pla ng C0unterStrike na kurso mo! Wla nrin pla tau mga baboy, naipagbili nrin nmen pra dun sa cnasabi mung project, n0kia N75 b yun? Ang mahal nman ng pr0ject m0! Ksma din dun 7 libo pra sa field trip ny0 sa Mall of Asia. Mlayo b un, bkt ang mahal? Isasanla p nmin ang palayan para mbili mo ung instrumentong i-pod. Kmportable ka b dyn s bording haus mo, victorias b un? Kmusta na u?

Ngmamahal,
nnay&ttay

pls pass

"WALA LANG"

pass this to 128 people and nothing will happen...





...promise! this is very effective. I just tried it, wala talagang nangyari!

keri lang churva

Pari: Ang mgA bAkla'y wlang lugar sa Kaharian ng Langit!!!

Gays: Keri lng FAther! Dun nLang kami sa RAINBOW mag slide slide EVER! =)

seller of unhatched & incubated offspring of aquatic birds

I'm so sick and tired of this cruel life! In solitude I tread this seemingly endless road amidst the spooky, cold and uncertain darkness of the night. Shouting relentlessly at the top of my lungs just to reach your ears and answer your exotic cravings...





-Magbabalut, sosyal at depressed

kadiri naman u...

Nsa elevator k w/ ur crush...

sudenly...

npautot crush mo...

Ntwa ka...





at lumobo sipon mo...

oh sino ngayon ang mas nka2hiya?

(eh di ikaw! bwahahaha!)

Mhakna!

Mhakna!
o-on ta ploh, Mhakna!
Imisamoh, Mhakna!
Uyu-eso, Mhakna!
Umo-u-wo-u... 2x




ngongo, kumakanta ng SMACK THAT...

masarap?

Kagabi nanaginip ako.

Kumakain daw ako ng cottoncandy.
Maraming cottoncandy.
Maraming maraming cottoncandy.
Naubos ko.

Pagka gising ko...




Wala na akong unan!

minumura mo bako?

PUCHA!...









- kaaway ng ACHO.

yagit

Kpag
nkta
mo
ako
na
mrumi...
warat2
ang damit...
wlang
tsnelas
at
nsa
gtna
ng
kalye...





plz wg
kang
la2pit...




May sh00ting ako...
bawal ang fans. =)

takot ako eh!

Sigaw ng halimaw: AWOOOOOO!!!

Iyak ng bata: Wag p0!

Sagot ng halimaw: okei... =)

(wow how nice naman that halimaw!)

TNT si dan

DAN TORRES frm Bicol nagTNT sa USA. 1 araw, nagGrocery sya-

Cashier: VISA or Master?
Dan(kabado): Hanap VISA ko! (takbo siya, sakay auto nya - harurot! But he needs gas)
Gas boy: pay 1st!
Dan(nerbyos): Patay, PAPERS daw! (run sya fone booth 2 col home)
AutoFone greeting: AT&T, can I help u?
Dan(namutla): Alam na TNT ako! (labas sya ng booth pawis na pawis)
Tanong ng nxt kano sa pila: Are u DONE?
Dan: name ko alam nila?!
Kano: Tourist?
Dan: pati apelyido!
Kano: Be cool!
Dan: patay pati probinsya ko alam!!!

mag-amang centipede

c baby centpede lumapt k daddy centpede at may bnulong.. hnmatay c daddy!




Ano kaya bnulong ni baby?




SAG0T:
"dadi, pbili slippers.."

thank you mamser!

Ma'am/sir,

I hereby render my irrevocable resignation as your employee, effective today. It has been a pleasant stay in your company; but owing to personal reasons, I am compelled to move on. I would like to thank you and your good management for the wonderful experience accorded to me during my stay in your company.

Yours truly,
Inday

oo nga naman!

Question:
Bakit hinihila ang tali?









Sige nga, itulak mo nga! =)

ebolusyon

Kung totoo ang sinasabi nilang nanggaling ang mga tao sa unggoy...









...eh bakit may mga taong mukhang kabayo?!?

churva!

Did you know?

CHURVA has its etymology from the greek word CHEORVAMUS meaning "for lack of the right word to say or in place of something one wants to express but cannot verbalize."

Charing! =)

mag-inang centipede

M0mmy Centipede: h0y,mkupad! Knna p kta inuutusang bumili ng suka, d kprn nkkaalis?!

Baby Centipede: haller,nay!

..Nag-tsitsinelas p kya ak0! Excited?

dear ttay&nnay

Sulat ng anak s kñang mgulang:

dear ttay&nnay,

bkt ño bnenta ang kalabaw e akin nman un!? Galit tlga ako! Mula ngyn,hndi ño na ako anak!!

ur FRIEND,
boyet.. =)

HeLoW p0h!

HeLoW p0h!

Hir na me poH sa bLoGGer p0h! pOst LaNg me p0h nG kAkaTawAng jOwX, oTei? TeNkyu p0h! teyKer gAdbLes p0h!